Adam H. Kerman
2018-02-13 06:55:58 UTC
I cannot bring myself to watch Baywatch. Zac Efron just looked hideously
unfunny in the trailers.
I was at the library, glanced at the DVDs. There's a new movie I'd never
heard of, The Layover, starring her pale self and Kate Upton. It's
supposed to be a romcom, reversing the ancient plot. Two women make
fools of themselves over a guy.
Glancing at the interwebs, I see this was a made-for-tv movie for
DirecTV. Kate Upton can't really act, but she's attractive, and Miss
Daddario is the most adorable and fun woman in existence. How bad could
it possibly be?
Really, really, really, really, really bad. Glancing at it, it's written
by David Hornsby. No, not Russell Hornsby, the guy from two supernatural
tv series, not Nick Hornby, the famous English novelist. This is the
jerk who writes It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and is also Mr. Emily
It's directed by William H. Macy. I never knew he could direct. Well, he
just can't. It had absolutely no pacing.
I made it through about 10 minutes. I didn't laugh. The characters were
awful, especially Kate Upton as Meg. He's such a bad director, he does
the impossible: He sucked the life out of Miss Daddario, who plays Kate. I
desperately wanted to rescue her from this movie and resucitate her.
I kept fast forwarding it to get to the good parts, but never found
them. At about 35 minutes, there's a pool sequence. Miss Daddario takes
a dress and a pair of scissors and cuts it into an exquisite bathing
suit, then she and Miss Upton compete in a diving contest.
There's a road trip. Finally, Kate throws herself at the guy. A sex
scene ensues, supposed to be funny. It's not. It's not erotic either.
Stay far away.