2020-06-24 01:50:12 UTC
with Anim and whoever else wants to join us. I am already certain that
it will fully justify its 8% positive rating on Rotten Tomatoes.
So the setup: Ten strangers wake up on a beach, apparently an island.
They don't know each other or how they got there--in fact, they don't
even remember their own names or lives. Helpfully, though, each of them
has a name printed on the label of the nearly-identical shirts they're
wearing, so they go with those.
The action starts with Our Heroine, Natalie Martinez (from Under the
Dome and The Crossing, as well as a bunch of other shows I didn't
watch--Fashion House, Saints & Sinners, Detroit 1-8-7, CSI: NY, Secrets
and Lies, Kingdom, and APB. She's had a very decent career for someone
I'm only barely aware of). There is a conch shell in her hand; she
immediately blows into it, making a noise that does, well, nothing. 30
seconds in and I can tell this is going to be bad. We later find out
that her name is apparently "Chase."
The group wakes up and assembles. A very Tall Guy and Our Heroine walk
inland looking for water. They find a big lake fed by a couple of
waterfalls. He says "Let's keep this our little secret." Right. They
kiss and he tries to rape her. She gets away and they arrive separately
back at the group. She accuses him, he denies it, and Tall Rapey Guy
declared himself the leader and starts telling people what to do.
While they were gone, however, Long-Haired Guy shouts "Let's go
swimming" and jumps into the water. Sadly, three sharks are waiting for
him. He's gone for a while, then his body shows up on the beach with
lots of long thin wounds but no bite marks. I guess they just scratched
The only other character played by an actor with a recognizable name,
Kate Bosworth, apparently exists just to be a bitch. She's good at it,
too. The name on her shirt label is "KC."
One of the more dim-witted characters then makes an amazing discovery.
It is exactly 39 of his long, exaggerated steps in between the spots
where each person woke up. What could that mean? Hmm.... Later on, he
makes an even more amazing discovery! There is a sign along the beach,
saying "Go Back Home" (or something like that) and it was, I think, 390
of his long, exaggerated steps away from the group, and 390 equals 39
(steps between the people where they woke up) times 10 (the number of
people). OK then.
The group convenes again to decide what to do. Should they set up camp
on the beach or inland at the lake? Apparently the beach wins. They
never go get water, instead subsisting on three coconuts from a nearby
tree. I guess that's enough for 10 people, even though Our Heroine warns
people not to drink too much because a coconut doesn't have that much
milk. Oh, she's also confiscated the two weapons--a knife and a
hatchet--that the group awakened with. (Each person had an object next
At the end of the episode, Our Heroine walks away in disgust. She throws
the conch shell. It breaks, revealing electronics inside and an "The
I-Land" logo. Really. A clew!
One down, six to go.