Henry Bodkin
2024-11-05 20:11:07 UTC
Donald Trump thinks penis size is the ultimate measure of manhood. In
Sweden, we know better
By Mandy Pipher Contributor
Mandy Pipher is a Canadian writer now living in Sweden. You can find more
of her reflections on Swedish life & culture on her Substack: Mandy's Guide
to Sweden.
I like penises as much as the next straight girl, but my first thought when
watching Trumps Arnold Palmer all man moment was what a sad model of
masculinity he was offering up. If manhood is measured by penises, thats a
very small and narrow state of affairs for men, no matter how large said
penises may be.
Of course Trump was joking, but the phrase was revealing; it represents a
pervasive way of thinking about masculinity. In a cultural context where
men report feeling like they no longer have a socially acceptable model of
what it means to be a man where the old model is toxic, but a new one
hasnt yet formed one dominant view is that the traditional model must be
reinstated, because the only alternative is the cuck: a cartoonishly weak
figure whose behaviour, actions, and even will are dominated by women. He
has neither social power nor even really any sense of self. Hes not quite
Theon Greyjoy from Game of Thrones, but hes getting there.
Here in Sweden, where I recently moved with my family, there is a different
vista of manhood, one with refreshing alternatives to the He-Man/Cuck
dichotomy: dads with hipster glasses and coiffed hair who eat salad, ride
motorbikes, and listen to Joe Rogan; IT guys who spend their spare time
learning about wine pairings and teaching dance classes; energetic broad-
shouldered men working at daycares and elementary schools, enjoying their
jobs and taking a decent paycheque home to their families.
And, since this Scandinavia, these men are more likely to look like Jamie
Lannister or Tormund Giantsbane (played by Danish and Norwegian actors,
respectively) than Theon Greyjoy.
But what unites the male figures I see in Sweden isnt the degree to which
they do or dont embody Nordic masculine physical ideals. Instead, its
what I can best describe as a vibe: an aura of solidity and ease, a sense
of being secure in themselves and what theyre doing men who move through
the world as if freed from narrow ideas of what their gender allows them to
do or be.
Its also their sheer ubiquity. While we have many models of masculinity in
North America too, here in Sweden they are simply everywhere out and
proud in a way theyre often not back home. Without that kind of strong
societal presence, someone like Trump can more successfully spread his
small and retrograde version of manhood.
For both Theon Greyjoy and Donald Trump, manhood is epitomized by one thing
Theons main source of pride was his large penis but Sweden elevates a
model of manly value that is not defined by what others spy in communal
showers, but by something deeper and more vast; something internal;
something that cant be cut off and sent in a box to your sister.
It is men finding, or believing, that it is possible for them to find,
strength and fulfilment in who they are and what they do for society. It is
the idea that how someone supports themselves doesnt have to look one way.
It can be a woman driving a tractor or a man caring for toddlers, a man
inserting a needle for a blood draw or a woman fixing a pipe, a woman
drafting policy while a man soothes their baby.
ARTICLE CONTINUES BELOW
Does it really matter, Swedish social norms imply, who does what job or
whats between their legs, as long as theyre contributing to society and
free to do so in a way that makes sense for them and their families?
Swedes usually say this without really saying it partially because of
their characteristic Nordic reserve, but largely because the question seems
irrelevant to them. If asked whether a man might feel like less of a man,
less of a strong or valuable person, because his chosen profession is
teaching preschool, not building houses or running an office, they are as
likely to return a perplexed stare as an incredulous little laugh.
What a silly question, after all.
https://archive.ph/jCjRY#selection-4259.0-4389.33
Sweden, we know better
By Mandy Pipher Contributor
Mandy Pipher is a Canadian writer now living in Sweden. You can find more
of her reflections on Swedish life & culture on her Substack: Mandy's Guide
to Sweden.
I like penises as much as the next straight girl, but my first thought when
watching Trumps Arnold Palmer all man moment was what a sad model of
masculinity he was offering up. If manhood is measured by penises, thats a
very small and narrow state of affairs for men, no matter how large said
penises may be.
Of course Trump was joking, but the phrase was revealing; it represents a
pervasive way of thinking about masculinity. In a cultural context where
men report feeling like they no longer have a socially acceptable model of
what it means to be a man where the old model is toxic, but a new one
hasnt yet formed one dominant view is that the traditional model must be
reinstated, because the only alternative is the cuck: a cartoonishly weak
figure whose behaviour, actions, and even will are dominated by women. He
has neither social power nor even really any sense of self. Hes not quite
Theon Greyjoy from Game of Thrones, but hes getting there.
Here in Sweden, where I recently moved with my family, there is a different
vista of manhood, one with refreshing alternatives to the He-Man/Cuck
dichotomy: dads with hipster glasses and coiffed hair who eat salad, ride
motorbikes, and listen to Joe Rogan; IT guys who spend their spare time
learning about wine pairings and teaching dance classes; energetic broad-
shouldered men working at daycares and elementary schools, enjoying their
jobs and taking a decent paycheque home to their families.
And, since this Scandinavia, these men are more likely to look like Jamie
Lannister or Tormund Giantsbane (played by Danish and Norwegian actors,
respectively) than Theon Greyjoy.
But what unites the male figures I see in Sweden isnt the degree to which
they do or dont embody Nordic masculine physical ideals. Instead, its
what I can best describe as a vibe: an aura of solidity and ease, a sense
of being secure in themselves and what theyre doing men who move through
the world as if freed from narrow ideas of what their gender allows them to
do or be.
Its also their sheer ubiquity. While we have many models of masculinity in
North America too, here in Sweden they are simply everywhere out and
proud in a way theyre often not back home. Without that kind of strong
societal presence, someone like Trump can more successfully spread his
small and retrograde version of manhood.
For both Theon Greyjoy and Donald Trump, manhood is epitomized by one thing
Theons main source of pride was his large penis but Sweden elevates a
model of manly value that is not defined by what others spy in communal
showers, but by something deeper and more vast; something internal;
something that cant be cut off and sent in a box to your sister.
It is men finding, or believing, that it is possible for them to find,
strength and fulfilment in who they are and what they do for society. It is
the idea that how someone supports themselves doesnt have to look one way.
It can be a woman driving a tractor or a man caring for toddlers, a man
inserting a needle for a blood draw or a woman fixing a pipe, a woman
drafting policy while a man soothes their baby.
ARTICLE CONTINUES BELOW
Does it really matter, Swedish social norms imply, who does what job or
whats between their legs, as long as theyre contributing to society and
free to do so in a way that makes sense for them and their families?
Swedes usually say this without really saying it partially because of
their characteristic Nordic reserve, but largely because the question seems
irrelevant to them. If asked whether a man might feel like less of a man,
less of a strong or valuable person, because his chosen profession is
teaching preschool, not building houses or running an office, they are as
likely to return a perplexed stare as an incredulous little laugh.
What a silly question, after all.
https://archive.ph/jCjRY#selection-4259.0-4389.33