Best "Karnak" (Johnny Carson) jokes?

[Richard Fangnail]

a- ghosts, goblins, and gerald ford
q- name three things that go "bump" in the night.

(you have to be old to understand that one)

what others??

[b***@gmail.com]

Post by Richard Fangnail
a- ghosts, goblins, and gerald ford
q- name three things that go "bump" in the night.
(you have to be old to understand that one)
what others??

It's spelled "Carnac" (kinda like "Carson").
Do a Google search, you'll find lots of pages.

Oh, and "Sis-boom-bah" is still my favorite. :-)

-Tim

[M***@aol.com]

Post by b***@gmail.com
Oh, and "Sis-boom-bah" is still my favorite. :-)

Right!

Answer: "Sis-boom-bah."

Question: Describe the sound of an exploding sheep.

Two others I remember:

Answer: Swine flu vaccine.

Question: Name a cure for which there is no known disease. (You have to
be really old to understand that one.)


Answer: "Adolf Hitler ... and Lester Maddox!"

Question: Name a liberal and a conservative. (Again, age has its
privileges.)

[Uniblab]

Answer: Geraldo Rivera, Madonna, and a diseased yak.

I can't remember what the question was.



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[Tom]

Post by Richard Fangnail
a- ghosts, goblins, and gerald ford
q- name three things that go "bump" in the night.
(you have to be old to understand that one)
what others??

Kirk Douglas, Turk Nagurski and Earl Butz...


Name a Kirk, a Turk and a jerk.

You have to be old for that one, too!

[Anim8rFSK]

Post by Richard Fangnail
a- ghosts, goblins, and gerald ford
q- name three things that go "bump" in the night.
(you have to be old to understand that one)
what others??

sisss boom bah

sis boom bah?

siss boom bah

What's the last sound you hear before a sheep explodes?

sissss BOOM baaaaaaaaaaaah

[tyrone1]

Post by Richard Fangnail
a- ghosts, goblins, and gerald ford
q- name three things that go "bump" in the night.
(you have to be old to understand that one)
what others??

a: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

q: Name a Greek comicbook hero

this has stuck with me for MANY years!
( not the spelling, of course - had to look that up.)

[Anim8rFSK]

In article
<tmcelhone-***@customer-201-125-217-207.uninet.net.mx>
,

Post by tyrone1

Post by Richard Fangnail
a- ghosts, goblins, and gerald ford
q- name three things that go "bump" in the night.
(you have to be old to understand that one)
what others??

a: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
q: Name a Greek comicbook hero
this has stuck with me for MANY years!
( not the spelling, of course - had to look that up.)

LOL

never heard that one

thanks! :-)

[m***@hotmail.com]

Post by Richard Fangnail
a- ghosts, goblins, and gerald ford
q- name three things that go "bump" in the night.
(you have to be old to understand that one)
what others??

A) Dippety Doo

Q) What forms on your dippity first thing in the morning?

[William George Ferguson]

Post by m***@hotmail.com

Post by Richard Fangnail
a- ghosts, goblins, and gerald ford
q- name three things that go "bump" in the night.
(you have to be old to understand that one)
what others??

A) Dippety Doo
Q) What forms on your dippity first thing in the morning?

That was the recycled version. The original version

Q) What should you look for when tracking a dippity

[Patty Winter ()]

A. Chicken Teriyaki.

Q. Who's the only surviving World War II kamikaze pilot?

[Anim8rFSK]

Post by Patty Winter ()
A. Chicken Teriyaki.
Q. Who's the only surviving World War II kamikaze pilot?

hee hee hee hee hee

[d***@hollywood.west]

my favorite was always:

a- yasser arafat
q- describe the sound made when dolly parton takes off her bra

maybe i just thought it was funny because we have the same name.

[Anim8rFSK]

Post by d***@hollywood.west
a- yasser arafat
q- describe the sound made when dolly parton takes off her bra
maybe i just thought it was funny because we have the same name.

Your name is yasser arafat????

[Ronnie]

I'm not saying this is all that great a joke, but for some reason
the only one I sharply remember is...

A: Mount Baldy
Q: What did Mrs. Yul Brynner do on her honeymoon?

<RIMSHOT>

[h***@earthlink.net]

A: Coffee Mate
Q: What do you call a weirdo who sleeps with a percolator?


A: Evonne Goolagong
Q: Name the sound a plunger makes.

[d***@hollywood.west]

This post might be inappropriate. Click to display it.

[Wayne Brown]

Post by Richard Fangnail
a- ghosts, goblins, and gerald ford
q- name three things that go "bump" in the night.
(you have to be old to understand that one)
what others??

Answer: Vice President Ky
Question: What does Spiro Agnew use to get into the White House washroom?

(You need to be pretty old for that one, too.)

[Richard Fangnail]

Post by Wayne Brown
Answer: Vice President Ky
Question: What does Spiro Agnew use to get into the White House washroom?
(You need to be pretty old for that one, too.)
--

I don't get the joke.

[M***@aol.com]

Post by Richard Fangnail

Post by Wayne Brown
Answer: Vice President Ky
Question: What does Spiro Agnew use to get into the White House washroom?
(You need to be pretty old for that one, too.)

I don't get the joke.

Try pronouncing Ky as "key."

[William George Ferguson]

Post by M***@aol.com

Post by Richard Fangnail

Post by Wayne Brown
Answer: Vice President Ky
Question: What does Spiro Agnew use to get into the White House washroom?
(You need to be pretty old for that one, too.)

I don't get the joke.

Try pronouncing Ky as "key."

And Nguyen Cao Ky was Vice President of South Vietnam when Carson did the
joke.

[Patty Winter ()]

Post by William George Ferguson

Post by M***@aol.com
Try pronouncing Ky as "key."

And Nguyen Cao Ky was Vice President of South Vietnam when Carson did the
joke.

There were so many Vietnamese names in the newspaper during the
Vietnam war that I swear I once read a headline that had the word
"Them" and read it as "Tem".....


Patty

[c***@sbcglobal.net]

Post by Patty Winter ()

Post by William George Ferguson

Post by M***@aol.com
Try pronouncing Ky as "key."

And Nguyen Cao Ky was Vice President of South Vietnam when Carson did the
joke.

There were so many Vietnamese names in the newspaper during the
Vietnam war that I swear I once read a headline that had the word
"Them" and read it as "Tem".....
Patty

After a Karnak joke bombed, Johnny replied " May an unclean Yak sit on
your dinner"

[Wayne Brown]

Post by William George Ferguson

Post by M***@aol.com

Post by Richard Fangnail

Post by Wayne Brown
Answer: Vice President Ky
Question: What does Spiro Agnew use to get into the White House washroom?
(You need to be pretty old for that one, too.)

I don't get the joke.

Try pronouncing Ky as "key."

And Nguyen Cao Ky was Vice President of South Vietnam when Carson did the
joke.

And of course, Spiro Agnew was US Vice President at the time.

Another Carson line that was a favorite of mine, although it wasn't a
Carnac joke: He was holding up objects that supposedly had been fished
out of the Hudson River. One was a bottle with a message in it that
read, "Help! I'm being held prisoner on a God-forsaken island! Signed,
the Honorable John V. Lindsay, Mayor, New York City."

As part of that same bit, he held up a clam with a note attached that
said, "Died of terminal hepatitis." Carson himself had just returned
from a couple of weeks' absence during which he was in the hospital for
hepatitis. Someone apparently slipped the clam into the joke without
telling him, because after he read the card he directed a pained look
off-stage and said, "Oh, come on, guys!"